FESS UP! WE ALL GET THEM! THOSE "GONNA GETCHA IF YOU DON'T RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL." NUTS! THOSE PEOPLE ARE FLATOUT EMAIL NUTS!
I DID A LOT OF RESEARCH ON THIS NEVER-ENDING BARRAGE OF EMAIL "SAVE YOURSELF", "SAVE
THE WORLD", AND "SAVE THIS KID."
DID YOU KNOW THIS IS HOW SPAM MONGERS GET YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS? SIMPLE: YOU WRITE YOUR NAME, TOWN AND STATE. THEY GOTCHA! NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU HAVE EMAIL!
A STEADY STREAM OF IT!
HERE'S THE FACTS ABOUT THE FICTION
I WILL NOT HAVE BAD LUCK OR LOSE MY
EMAIL LIST IF I DON'T FORWARD EMAIL.
I WILL NOT HEAR ANY MUSIC OR SEE A TACO DOG
IF I DO FORWARD EMAIL.
BILL GATES IS NOT GOING TO SEND ME ANY MONEY.
VICTORIA SECRET DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A GIFT CERTIFICATE SHE'S SUPPOSED TO SEND ME.
FORD WILL NOT GIVE ME A 50% DISCOUNT EVEN IF
I FORWARD EMAIL TO MORE THAN 50 PEOPLE!
I WILL NEVER RECEIVE GIFT CERTIFICATES, COUPONS, OR FREEBIES FROM COCA COLA, OR CRACKER BARREL IF I FORWARD EMAIL TO 10 PEOPLE.
I WILL NEVER SEE A POPUP WINDOW IF I FORWARD EMAIL. MY PHONE WILL NOT MYSTERIOUSLY RING AFTER I FORWARD EMAIL ELEVEN TIMES. THERE'S NO
EMAIL TRACKING PROGRAM.
THERE IS NO KID WITH CANCER THROUGH THE MAKE-A-WISH PROGRAM IN ENGLAND COLLECTING ANYTHING! HE DID HAVE CANCER WHEN HE WAS 7 YEARS-OLD. HE IS NOW CANCER FREE AND IS 35 YEARS OLD. HE DOESN'T
WANT ANY POST CARDS OR GET WELL CARDS!
THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT HAVE A BILL IN CONGRESS CALLED 901B, THAT, IF PASSED, WILL ENABLE THEM TO CHARGE US 5 CENTS FOR EVERY EMAIL WE SEND.
THE AMERICAN RED CROSS WILL NOT DONATE 50 CENTS TO A CERTAIN INDIVIDUAL DYING OF SOME NEVER-HEARD-OF DISEASE FOR EVERY EMAIL I SEND. THE RED CROSS
RECEIVES DONATIONS. THEY DO NOT SEND THEM!
NOW, REPEAT THESE TRUISMS UNTIL YOU HAVE THEM MEMORIZED. SEND THIS WEB PAGE TO AT LEAST FIVE
OF YOUR FRIENDS BEFORE THE NEXT FULL MOON OR
YOU WILL SURELY SMELL LIKE A WET CAT FOR THREE MONTHS AND ALL OF YOUR HAIR WILL FALL OUT!
GRAND FINALE!
I WILL NOT LET OTHERS PILE GUILT ME INTO FORWARDING EMAIL. OTHERWISE, I AM NOT THEIR FRIEND; OR IT WILL PROVE I DON'T BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST. I GOT ONE OF THESE THIS WEEK! MY NAME WAS ALREADY ON IT!
I HADN'T SIGNED IT!
IF GOD WANTS TO SEND ME A MESSAGE, I BELIEVE THE BUSHES IN MY YARD WILL BURN BEFORE HE USES A COMPUTOR TO PASS IT ON BY EMAIL!
